i've been reprimanded

wonderful Janie has demanded an update WITH a pregnancy picture. Sorry but this is the best I got.

I have to tell ya, it's been a long week. Without boring the crap out of you: I knew we were going to be slow at work this week with school starting and that my staff was more than capable of managing without me. Being that we, the nation, seem to be having a little economic sputter (we are all broke) I figured what a good chance to be out of work so that I can get right back in there and start paying some late bills here in a few weeks.

so last week I started on the path to "how to induce labor naturally" - this last week+ has included everything off the standard lists and things that have been recommended by friends, family and the nice lady at the photo counter at Costco. (*note- I did not try castor oil, I'm too afraid)

I am exhausted, my feet (which are not happy about the amount of weight gained in the last 9 months) hurt so bad from speed walking and stairs, my back and hips are sick to death of the enormous exercise ball that I live on now,

bounce, bounce, rock, roll, bounce (you get the idea)

my husband is exhausted since I just expect him to be more than a piece of meat... I think the word I used was "machine", did I mention an enema... ya tried that too (not my fav!)

anyway, here I sit pregnant and frustrated. actually I think I'm going over to the depressed side. I know I know, it's not even my due date, but:

1. I have no patience whatsoever!
2. I'm dying to meet this child who I love and I hope will love me as much.
3. I've had contractions for 3 months and they are much harder and often now... but they aren't even real ones.
4. Jocie also thinks she has a baby Harrison in her tummy, and it would be nice to show the child what we have been working so hard for (she always shows me that "Harrison is kicking")
5. there is definitely money motivation, I've got to get back to work ASAP!
6. did I mention my lack of patience???

Anyway, you could imagine (or maybe you can't) the competitive chill that literally went through my veins and took over my body when my Doula (my sister Megan) called to say that she and my sister Rhonda (who's due date is one day before mine) are on the way to the hospital in hard labor.

WAIT, WE WERE SUPPOSED TO DO THIS TOGETHER!

Yesterday afternoon, Rhonda had a beautiful baby girl Charley (named after my dad). We visited them at the hospital. I was so happy to welcome this gorgeous child into the world, and so let down that I had been left behind.

I came home and took a nap and worked several more hours on Breaking Dawn (3/4 way through) and decided that I've got to let some of this angst go.

Although I haven't gone to work in a few days (hey they didn't need me, so I bounced-literally) I am on my way there this morning. I will carry on as normal and try with all my might to pretend I don't care.

I don't care (yes I do), no I don't (yes I do). damn.

I'll keep trying to relax....

however God in case it matters... today 8-8-08 would be a REALLY COOL birthday. Just saying, I'm not telling you what to do!