Monday, January 28, 2008
so i've been a high ranker on "e-cards starring you", "fake handbags", "gianni banini", "meg nie" you know somewhat normal things.....
last month i saw someone got to my site by googling "fake baby" (ewww that's nice). but today i had to mention what you can google and i will be NUMBER one on the list: pig crap
that's right. i have cornered the pig crap market. i couldn't be prouder.
"my" due date is one day off from the ultrasound, that means i'm a total genius. probably.
i would post the ultrasound pictures, but that means i would have to go into the messiest room in the house and find the scanner and the cord and then figure out where to go from there. so instead, the widget to the side is exactly like the grainy black and white ultrasound pix.
Sunday, January 27, 2008
7 in total (two were missing and were missed greatly). no the paparazzi did not spot them, however fans did stop by to gush (we love you too Scarlet and Molly).
they slowly devoured two pizzas, and dessert was picked up by a lovely young lady with connections. our source can't be quoted on exact conversations but topics included:
Ez-e's fabulous hair
kids that act like dogs
dogs that think they are kids
accidentally hitting a cat with a car
running over a snake
accidentally also hitting a dog
possibly taking out a man with a mullet and an elephant
the twilight series/ EDWARD
Wednesday dressed as hello kitty
pregnancy that causes eating an entire large pizza alone
running 10 miles in the morning and participating in a half marathon next sat- great cause
woodpeckers down your shirt
dislike for birds in general
there was much more but can not be commented on due to "what happens at the table, stays at the table"
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
Monday, January 21, 2008
this will be painfully boring, don't say i didn't warn you - slowly turn around and hit the back button before you read too much
Jocie has kept us on our toes for the last 3 or 4 days now. she is boycotting sleep and eating, little manic if you ask me. when she does sleep she wakes up often, crying yelling no and not coherent. i don't want to use the word "possessed" but honestly i don't know any other way to describe these bouts. well she did eat dinner tonight, finally, and she went down like a champ.... so maybe... fingers crossed.
i'm feeling like a human again, but can't seem to leave my bed. i'm staring at loads of laundry, dirty and clean. ya, christmas decorations are still up - but we took down the tree this weekend, gosh. when is this writers strike gonna be over? does kendra on the girls next door bother ANYONE as much as she bothers me? i wish someone would throw something in her mouth when she laughs that irritating laugh and she would choke on it? i can't believe holly hasn't put a hit out on her yet.
as i sit here and eat day old clearance cake from the grocery store i wonder: are there any adults that like sprinkles on their cake? i know they don't taste, but come on they are still yucky. ug, i ate too much cake. baby likey though.
after work on sat we (yes with Dave!) went to matt matt's birthday party, transformer themed - who could ask for anything more? and then we took dave's sister char and niece courtenay out for dinner to celebrate char's birthday. take a guess which part jocie was more pleasant for...
we watched the first season of arrested development this weekend, dang that show rocked!
family dinner last night was fun, curt was nice, rachel who is ready to have that baby any minute was treated to a foot massage and pedicure by my sisters, austin finally brought his "girl"friend to meet us, and chad 1's parents from Montana were there. it was loud, lots of food, pazzooki for dessert, and only minor head injuries to matt matt that involved neosporin so "he didn't scar". all in all, pretty successful night. my poor dad blew his knee out this week, it sucks to watch your dad who really is perfect in every way as well as my idol get around with a crutch. i hope he will heal fast. i think my mom is getting into the movie slide show business... she can come up with a dvd slide show set to music at a moments notice, matt's birthday slide show was fun - the kids laughed like hyenas all the way through.
i think that brings me to the end of my journaling. i warned you not to read it.
Saturday, January 19, 2008
Wednesday, January 16, 2008
Monday, January 14, 2008
Sunday, January 13, 2008
when i told dave tonight that i'm miserable and don't want to get pregnant again after this, his response was "you might want to write that down".
i said "ok, i know it wasn't easy last time, but i don't remember it being this bad. was is?"
he said "um... it was bad".
why in the world would this man agree to go through this again with me when he actually has a memory.
- i should possibly look in the mirror before leaving the house. my sister is so sick of seeing me unshowered, with bedhead, in pajamas in public, and my motion sickness wrist bands that she has taken to calling me "owen wilson". oh, not popular movie star working owen wilson, the just got off "suicide watch owen".
Wednesday, January 9, 2008
You only think I guessed wrong! That's what's so funny! I switched glasses when your back was turned! Ha ha! You fool! You fell victim to one of the classic blunders! The most famous is never get involved in a land war in Asia, but only slightly less well-known is this: never go in against a Sicilian when death is on the line! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha...
Tuesday, January 8, 2008
- i have become debbie downer. "i'm scared to even check your blog because it's so depressing" is i believe what curt said.
- my fans have missed me, and are thus worried that i have taken a "72 hour britney vacation".
let me reassure curt, that yes i will continue to blog as my mood allows. i know that my mix of meds and pregnancy will someday in the future work for the betterment of society. unfortunately that time is not here yet.
she looks so happy, i'm jeaslous inside
my dearest fans that worship (fear) my every move,
i won't lie, britney's actions have had some impact on me. although i am not in a state to enjoy the true value of Cheetos right now, have never smoked, drank coffee, or currently behind on my trailer park lot dues; i still feel i can relate with Ms. Spears.
lets cut the crap, she is imbalanced. i know the feeling.
but where we differ is: a 72 hour stay at a clean, supervised, food serving, toilet cleaning, non showering facility away from the kids? what the heck, how can you look that gift horse in the mouth? granted, if dr. phil walked into my hospital room a light would go on above my head "i'm either being punked, or my life may not be in a good place", either way i would send dr. whore out the door with a few words that would actually get me MORE TIME in this recreational get away.
why in the world am i talking about this? i will tell you, it's all i got without talking about nausea, lack of sleep, nausea, my kids relentless poopy diapers, abdomen tightness , pain-acidic hunger, and PREGNANCY BRAIN.
pregnancy brain is real: the parasite living inside you actually starts feeding off, not only the little information you had stored between your ears, but also sucks anything funny, sarcastic, witty and most of all snarky. gone, into my uterus. now tell me, what is this baby going to do with my google password and home phone number?
did i mention this parasite is the size of a grain of rice.
in closing let me say, Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.
Friday, January 4, 2008
When not used literally it also may connote that something is inaccurate, of little factual substance, a lie, hype, or quackery. The word is used nearly interchangeably with "the s word" as the less offensive of the two. Still, some people find the word crap offensive, even if not intended to mean feces, and will use the minced oath "crud" instead.
Thursday, January 3, 2008
so what did i do in our dirty house that is still decorated for christmas and looks like a halfway house for the homeless? glad you asked: i stayed in bed. i did get up for an hour and made breakfast, then when my wonderful husband suggested i had time to maybe take a shower..... i let him know there was only one thing i could do. go back to bed.
then at 3 when i heard the "nap fight" taking on a life of it's own, i got up to help lay down the law. kid down, checked email, read blogs =45 min. and again my adoring husband asks if i would like him to make me a bath?? (btw: he makes the best baths in the whole world!) my face goes pale and let him down by heading off to bed again.
i awake to dinner beeps and buzzers, well i should check this out. dinner is served, even the princess is eating - amazing! i finish and head to the closest recliner, again there is a bath offer. i literally can't get up. we watched "surf's up" and both us girls cuddled on daddy (he probably had to hold his breath), one of us hasn't showered since last year and the other had a poopy diaper that she swore she didn't. poor poor daddy.
princess in bed, whew. dave takes further discussion to the bathroom. i lay on bathroom floor, it is then again suggested that maybe i should take a shower, i concede.
i write to you as a clean and showered person. can i just say DANG- i forgot about the clumps of hair that fall out during pregnancy when you wash your hair.
as i posted on Christmas eve, Jojo is now in a big girl bed. the beauty of it, she didn't know she had the option of getting out of said bed. she normally just yells till "dammy" (easier than saying daddy and/or mommy - she's tricky) gets her out.
yesterday Dave called me at work to tell me that while sleeping with his face on the edge of the bed he had the urge to open an eye.
there is our adorable daughter who then yelled "i did it!"
yes, yes she did and has continued to since.
(no pictures, no - my camera is a decroded piece of crap that i'm not talking to at this moment)
Wednesday, January 2, 2008
every waking moment sucks. just plain sucks. it's like nausea and exhaustion have taken over my body and are just having the time of their lives. was it this bad before??? i know i took a bunch of different vitamins and something at night to help, as well as motion sickness wristbands (NOT HOT) which i wore (and now wearing) for the first three months.
who would have more than one child if you did remember all the bad as much as the good?
i should wrap this up with a nice bow and a happy ending. ok, um... well, the dentist says i will probably get pregnancy gingivitis again. (sorry i got nothing, check back in march)
Tuesday, January 1, 2008
ps. on a positive note, i did take a shower yesterday before the strike of midnight! if you aren't giving me full credit for that act, you either give me too much credit or not enough. i don't know because i just talked myself into a circle.