Saturday, January 19, 2008

if i was in charge of the national department of chain letters

sending ONE would be punishable by brutal work camps or death.




genius! oh wait, what could possibly be the gain of this? NOTHING that's what. it is stupid and for the life of me i can't imagine why these were started, sent and still exist. when you get a forward from a friend and it clearly gives you the choice of "send it back to me to show you care" or "if you ignore it i will know you checked your email and hate me" ... what the crap??? i guess i hate you, i can't hit reply.


does a true friend send you a chain letter? (ponder that while i blow your mind again)


ok so "paper" chain letters are illegal to send (it said on google), "electronic" chain letters are an enormous waste of space and time, so where do we go from here?


PHONE TEXT CHAIN LETTERS! are you freakin kidding me? OH NO, they are real and do you know how many i have received? Way too many. just because you are on someones phone list does not mean you want crude pictures of santa clause, to be likened to some friendship poem crap, or sent "are you smarter than a fifth grader" questions at 6:30 in the morning on a Saturday. (i'm sorry if you are one of these people, i just can't hide behind the shame anymore)


i know there are greater causes in 2008 like ending breast cancer, peace in the middle east, britney getting her life back together, world hunger to name a few. i would like to make a stand here and now:


"i vow to never ever read and forward/reply to a chain letter ever again and if i do i shall be smitten to my death by an ironic yet literal 2 billion pound chain."


please make the vow with me by commenting your support of this plague we face daily. together we can beat stupid people at their own game!

19 comments:

Capri said...

Well, I wouldn't go as far as to say they should go to bootcamp or deserve death, otherwise I agree with everything you said here! The problem is, how to get others to wake up and smell the stupidity!

Curt said...

Whether or not Capri is right about the punishment they deserve... Wrong is WRONG! I will (and have already) taken part in your pledge. Time wasting should ever be inflicted upon a person's inbox. That's where they are trying to be effective.

Maybe for future posts along these same lines:

Never EVER buy ANYTHING from a telemarketer. If you do, you give them reason to keep calling. If we would all band together and commit to never buy from them, they would stop calling (or sue them if you are on the Do Not Call list). Since they can still call businesses - we have to make a concerted effort!

Suze said...

Ugh, I get one of those "cutesy" powerpoint presentations almost everyday from some friend that just wants to tell me I :

1. Am a strong woman who needs to forward this to 10 other strong women.

2. Am Loved by God. Forward to 15 other people to tell them God loves them.

3. need to click on this website and they won't tell me what will happen - just that I will be amazed.

AAAAARGH!!!!!!!!!

Practically Perfect In Every Way said...

capri: tomatoe, to death camp, we are on the same page.

curt: oh i HATE phone solicitors, i want to be able to drop my phone in a bucket of water and have them electricuted on the other end. come to find out, it doesn't work.

suze: yes these i have recieved and i've NEVER been amazed!

Sarah said...

Amen, sista!!! The worst person that sends those things is my Grandma. What's up with that? I've gotten to the point of not even opening Grandmas's emails cause I know their another chain letter. That does make me feel a little guilty.

Capri said...

Yes, gads, people who really should know better such as our older relatives are getting manipulated, man-handled by the emotions, and it's just infuriating! Adding to this is the frustration of people who just...don't...get it - and they practically think I'm crazy or too grinchy because I dislike chain letters so much. Somebody sent me that "Good to Be a Woman" one once, and I didn't write them back, praising it all to heck. I didn't write them back period - because I was way too ticked off - that fwd from them did NOT put me in a good mood. They really don't understand that stuff is manipulative fake crap and its true goal isn't really to make them feel good or "spread the friendship!" it's to keep reproducing! The shmucks who originate this dreck don't know me or you or any of our friends/family from a hole in the ground, and as far as I'm concerned, the hoaxters who make up the evil sick kid hoax lies and school project chain letters are the same ones who make up racist junk against Tommy Hilfiger, or those stupid "Friendship" chains that tell you you're a better friend and you'll get more friends by passing on a really badly written piece of smarm poetry or a crazily photoshopped sickly cutesy pic of some animals doing things that are so unbelievably cute they're obnoxious. Especially obnoxious when they show up in the inbox 10 times in 5 days. And don't even get me started on these twisted religious chain letters. ARGHH! I hate those things, they really give Christianity a bad wrap, all the while, roping in Christians who forward them on. I'm a very rare sort of Christian on the net, unfortunately, because I'm one who can't stand any of that stuff, and get offended when spam takes my God's name in vain and says it's from him.

Megan said...

amen! I made that pledge the first time I got one but i am rebelious like that. "really? something bad is gonna happen to me?" delete!!!! ha

WendyB said...

Do memes count as chain letters of a sort? :-)

Capri said...

Yes, definitely, memes are chain letters!

Aprilyn said...

I HATE chain letters. I get so many every day. I just delete anything that says Fw. fw. fw. on it. If it's important, it's not something that has been forwarded to so many people that you have to scroll down 1/2 the page to even SEE what it's about. I take the pledge!!! I HATE chain mail...always have, always will. I used to get them in the regular mail when I was a kid. Now they are in the form of recipe chain letters. "Just move my name to #1 and put yours on #2 then send it to 20 friends and include a recipe, blah, blah, blah..." NO THANK-YOU!

Mom of 3 boys said...

I just hit delete...although I will send/forward funny jokes and pics and I am guilty of that...sorry

the princess said...

what's really crazy is that when facebook started, the nice thing was that we were actually talking to friends again--not just getting the forwards. now, with the superwall and funwall apps, it's the same old crap as with our regular e-mail addresses. just what we all need! pointless e-mails that really don't involve actual communications with anyone. yeah, based on the amount of chain letters I have ignored, I am quite sure i should be dead by now.

pistols at dawn said...

I completely agree. However, like the Princess says, if these things actually had repercussions, I would have died 5,003 times from never passing one on, so I think we're all safe.

Andrea said...

I couldn't have said it better myself! I get those stupid e mails as well and some of them are actually interesting and I'll read through them. Then I get to the end and it tells me that I'm unAmerican or don't love God if I don't send it to everyone I know! And that's where they lose me. I NEVER send those to anyone else. I give my vow!

Practically Perfect In Every Way said...

wow it looks like i hit a nerve! i love it!

ok i've wikipedia'd and urband dictionary'd it and i don't know what a meme is.

Capri said...

A meme is a blog chain letter that obligates you to post some sort of content specific to it I.E. 8 questions about some random topic. Then it tells you to "tag" your friends, often it tells you to tag the number of friends according to the number of questions you're supposed to answer. They disguise themselves under cutesy titles like "A Game of Tag" which it really isn't. A real game of tag is a lot more fun. Memes get passed on just like those annoying "getting to know you" email surveys. The only difference is, memes are usually considerably shorter. A good explanation of them can be found at http://chainletters.pbwiki.com/Memes

Practically Perfect In Every Way said...

i'm torn on meme's. although i personally don't usually give up an oportunity to talk about myself, i have only been tagged once and am good with that. although, my stalkee (wendyB) gets tagged daily and i enjoy her lists immensely.

my decision at this time as the director of the national chainletter department is: don't ask don't tell. these are not a major concern of mine at this time. i will be relooking these once the chain letter situation is better under control.

Capri said...

Memes can be the most appealing because they cover all kinds of things, link lists, questions, even video memes, but I'd rather get all of that through other means. If there's an obligation to tag and pass it on, no matter how much I like audio for instance, I just won't do it if it's a chain letter meme.

Some Goofy Woman said...

I was with you until you asked for support in this. That's like a chain letter. A chain blog.

Bah, who'm I kidding.

Death to chain mails! I will never ever send another on! (Course I normally don't and rudely ask the person to not send them but wow this is long whose blog is this anyway?)

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