Sunday, December 30, 2007

misery LOVES company

in honor of all of you gals and guys who are feeling the end of the year blues:

i declare the final 36 hours left of this year shall be used to enjoy your misery. bask in the depression that has settled in. give into the crappy mood that is lurking. go on: join me in self pity.

that's it though, at the strike of midnight (in the mountain standard time zone- that gives you a few extra hours wendy) we must put on our gold sequin big girl panties and enter 2008 as the sarcastically snarky (for suze) medicated women that we are.

enjoy with me the self loathing (or alien baby that is taking over my body ) and gluttony that only this next 36 hours can offer.

Good luck and best wishes on your road to this limited time offer.
my love to all,


(if you would like to share how you are celebrating misery loves company time please send your stories, messages and pictures to

Friday, December 28, 2007

too sick to blog

THIS has sapped all my witty, delightful, snarky, humorous banter from my soul. i'm cranky and opinionated. my husband looks like he is dealing with post traumatic stress disorder. i wish animal control would shoot me with an elephant tranq and call it a week.
oh if you were looking for something more positive - pick any of the links to the right (you are at the WRONG PLACE)

Wednesday, December 26, 2007

i would kill, literally kill for greasy mexican food!

it's 11:30 at night and the only way to describe this feeling is like a mix between being heart sick, and so hungry the stomach acid is torturing the back of your throat. this is completely ridiculous, and if i thought there were someone close enough to bother with this problem i would.

i just need someone to either go pick up some filiberto's or something of the like, OR come sit here. that's it just sit here in a dark quiet house so that i may go on a quest for this need. (it's against the law to leave a child in bed at home alone while you go off and hunt down the nearest greasiest mexican food possible- oh ya and they really do frown as well on literally killing for this also. good thing this isn't an afterschool special)

my order in case the God of Mexican Food Delivery is reading: quesadilla, burrito (grilled chicken and cheese), beans, shredded beef tacos, chips and salsa, beans and an enchilada

(no onion, garnish or gross sour cream) oh and taquitos if that's not too much.

it hurts sooooo bad. the baby needs it.

holes are being burned into my stomach as i type.

I feel j lo explains my situation best - click here

The mania has passed and the exhaustion has set in.

Curt, i didn't want to have to do this.

i'm not sure at what point you crossed the line on comments tonight, but you did. (yes those are his wife's new pajama bottoms wrapped around his neck like a scarf)

Tuesday, December 25, 2007

christmas 2007 - DONE!

I have nothing insightful to share or deliver. I have no special stories of miracles, service or sanity. No, it is just over. The Christmas spirit was just harder to come by this year, I'm not sure why but it was. Maybe I'm just too tired to feel it?

Christmas with a 2 1/2 year old should have been exciting and thrilling. Unfortunately (as spoken by Debbie Downer) we dealt with days and days of emotional meltdowns/breakdowns from our sweet little princess, as well as an upper respiratory infection, pink eye, and a strict diet of things that will fit in a sandwich bag if that thing is popcorn. Oh and when Santa visited, lets just say she didn't hide her distaste for his presence. I think Santa is a little scarred, sorry Santa.

this about sums it up...

not learning disabled or deaf, just really good at pretending to be

i give you, my nephews.

P.I.G. episode 2, act II

three things:

  1. Curt thinks my PIG banner is pornographic with the statue of britney spears in that nice labor pose. My comment to Curt is -it's not sexual in the least that is one way babies are born (not Ms. Spears who had c-sections which makes that statue all the more ironic).

  2. Remember the gift I could have sworn i got?
turns out i did get it as a favor to Grandma Char to save her a trip to that particular store on Black Friday. i handed it to her, she paid me, and i FORGOT. to quote my beautiful sister Megan "It's hard to be glamorous when you are dumb as a door nail".
i think that about sums it up.
Literary Genius and daughter much better picture

3. how is my nose that looks like skeletor"s butt? still disgusting! This is the only picture of me today (why can't I look like Megan????):

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to all of you!

next episode: when a nap becomes a series of wishful comas.....

Monday, December 24, 2007

P.I.G. episode 2


trimester, shmimester: it takes no time for this little beauty to show it's ugly head and it lasts well through breastfeeding.

I feel like that German guy on hogan's hero's " I know nothing, nothing!"
I swear I bought one of these on black Friday:

we have TORN this house apart, twice. It is gone, i hid it and there it will stay. it wasn't with the rest of her presents, it is nowhere! I'm so frustrated, where did I put it.

maybe i didn't really buy it, i just think i did. i will check the receipt.

i put them all together so that i would be able to get to them quickly. i just don't know where that place is.

again, i have searched the house twice. no princess with horse, no receipts. nothing.

merry Christmas, if you have a brain because you aren't pregnant - please thank God for your ability to use it and look out for those of us that still have driver's license and shouldn't.

away with the manger, make room for the bed

I really wanted Jocie to be in her "big girl" bed by the end of the year. this was going to be a project that required mommy and daddy to have at least an afternoon off together.... so today was our big (and only) chance.

It couldn't just be as simple as going to pick up her bed though. The crib had to be taken apart, paint the room, pick up the bed and put everything back where it goes!
Hey it's her room, we should let her help....

she was so excited to be in her big girl bed it went perfect after story time!

Goodnight sweetheart, I hope Santa brings everything you want.


Mom and Dad

Saturday, December 22, 2007

NEW 9 month series:

this new series entitled: Pregnancy is Glamorous (aka: PIG) will be used as a private and public service for several reasons:

1.) to encourage abstinence amongst teenagers.

2.) as an outlet to whine and make it seem like news, or at least journaling.

3.) so that I will never have to say "do you know what i went through when i was pregnant with you?" WITHOUT DOCUMENTATION.

and so we begin:

meet my fever blister that has been on my face for almost two weeks! GROSS

Thursday, December 20, 2007

thursday's thought

earlier this week i had cause for alarm that Jocie and I were either sick or getting very sick. there was evidence of such.

but alas we were both just moody and irritable, nothing different.

tonight while discussing the cupcakes from dinner on Sunday night with megan, she made the comment " yeah well did you notice what color that frosting came out when changing Jojo's diaper?"

yes, yes i did.

another mystery solved.

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

wednesday whinning

i'm tired.

my hair is greasy and i have a fever blister on the tip of my nose for over a week now.

really really tired.

i think someone punched me in the eye a few days ago, it hurts.

big day at work, i need to leave but i just want to go back to sleep.

crap, why does my throat hurt?

i'm fat and tired.

sniff*** should put on more deodorant.

dang it, i forgot to wash my work clothes last night.

(no, sorry no pics for this post, my nose looks like hamburger!)

btw, why does that Christmas calendar countdown a thousand times faster than the baby Clancy one?

i should get some patience someday.

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

jare bear is 3 today!

jaren's mom mentioned a few months ago that the only dress up clothes at their house were his big sister's costumes. Sure jare is not ABOVE being a princess or ballerina every once and a while, but this was not the problem.
our real concern is that his father (although undiagnosed and unsupported) may have some crossdressing tendencies. we of course embrace these episodes because he is our brother, i mean his sisters are to blame for tormenting him from birth - but sometimes he went along with it a little too easy. anyway enough about Curt.....

here is Jaren and his birthday presents: COSTUMES!

ps. oh, you have to be kidding me if you think jare's cousins were going to be "onlookers"!!
NO WAY they wanted in on the action BAD!!!!

Monday, December 17, 2007

stupid camera

dear Cyber-shot,

Since you were lucky enough to be at the Gilpin family Christmas party last night you may have noticed I took one or 1200 pictures with you.

I was so excited to use you, even though we didn't really know each other, I thought it would be a good icebreaker. I actually snapped 325 pics with you on Sunday night and came home to download them and see OUR gems of photographic genius!

how many "gems" did i find?


You were like the worst blind date ever. i deleted at lease 3/4 of the pics that we took. Most everything was pure BLURRRR, and the rest were of albino people I guess because their skin was blinding white and their eyes were unresponsive to red eye reductions. (or maybe they were vampires?)

As of now you will be noticing the cold shoulder that has been thrust your way. Is this what i get for 1.) not reading any directions? 2.) purchasing on black Friday based on price and pixels / not research??? either way we are having a cooling off period. i don't think i can bear to look at you right now without wanting to grab you by the cord and scream "where is your shake-resistant feature now jerk face???"

not hot for your shot

Dear Not so Good Yourself,

really? you think maybe you should have read the manual or were you too busy running down my batteries to the point of starvation?

you have a lot of nerve judging me and I really liked your shoes last night.

I hope we can still be friends when you pull your head out of your owners manual.

best albino wishes,

Your Cyber-shot


Dear Shot in the dark,

based on your previous shoe comment you have an overwhelming LACK of FOCUS and FANTASTIC taste in SHOES.


fallen arches

$6.98 can buy happiness, or at least creativity

how cool is this table???

i heart thrift stores!!!

great green globs of greasy grimey gopher guts

wes, tal, matt

mean daddy jo and royt (my new name for him since he thinks my name is "furniture")


big mak



or maybe just green frosting???